Great. I'm back in the Land of Blog.
Not much has happened over the last few days, so not much to say really. I'm not at work today and I'm really ashamed to admit that I've done nothing other than hang a couple of loads of washing on the line (in my newly pruned garden) and watch TV. There's loads I could be doing, and loads I should be doing, but I just don't have the energy or the motivation at the moment. It's always the same when I'm not at work - I get lonely and down. I never used to be like this. I used to do things, I used to have hobbies. It's almost as though I'm trying to capture the little time I have to myself and 'recuperate' but all I do is feel guilty about being at home. I'm not making sense, am I?
I went to the GP this morning to pick up the letter for the hospital on Friday. I had to have a peek (as you do) and it came as a shock to see her comments on my medical history, namely depression (actually no longer a problem -although you wouldn't think so from this post), hysterctomy (but she got the date wrong by 6 years) and obesity. To see the word obesity written down to describe me came as a blow. No wonder I feel down.
3 comments:
Hey Cath we all laughed at my group when I announced I am no longer morbidly obese - just obese!! I know what you mean though when you see it in your Doctors hand
Hi Chris.
Sorry to hear you're a bit down. I think seeing something written down (especially by a doctor) makes it all the more real and is upsetting. I remember seeing a scan of my knee which clearly showed a tumour (benign and not threatening at all as it turns out). Well, I knew that it was there because I could feel it but actually seeing it on film made it all the more real and got me all upset. it's like our brains don't accept something until it's visual.
That's probably what's made you a bit low. The other thing is we all have lulls in our natural energy levels and just have to accept them and try and go with the flow. Don't beat yourself up chuck, you'll be back to your normal busy self soon.
Maybe try a bit of exercise to kick start it? Gentle walk round the block????
Hi Chris
Was going to wish you luck for tomorrow then saw your blog.
Well, what can I say that Ameythist and Lesley haven't? I think it's natural you feel down; there's something judgemental about those comments, even if they are just their observations (but getting medical dates wrong is a no no!).
I just want to remind you how WELL you have done and how much adversity you have overcome. Not just with this diet malarkey but all the IVF stuff in the past. If that isn't a sign of one gutsy woman, I don't know what is! And look how you perservered with all the LL/CD food.
Please try to celebrate your successes BEFORE you head out tomorrow. And how about a cheeky thought record to sort out the being at home bit?
Funnily enough, I got really really lonely here but since I have been busier, it hasn't happened. BUT this week I had a full day based at home. It was fantastic but by the afternoon, those old feelings came back.
Sending you a big hug and remember tell them just how much you HAVE done and how keen you are to find out what's wrong!
Let us know how you get on. Thinking of you.
Mrs L xxxxxxxxxxxxx
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