Well here we are - the end of the first week. I'll tell you one thing, this first week on Slimming World has gone a lot quicker than my first week on LighterLife! I think back to those days with the relief that I've not had to go through the agony of getting into full ketosis, and having to drink SO much water. I remember day 3 of LighterLife standing in the kitchen crying to John that I couldn't go on - I was so, so hungry; I felt I was drowning in all that water and feeling nauseous all the time because of it. But those days were over fairly quickly and I soon knuckled down to the diet proper. It's just SO, SO, SO, annoying that I wasn't able to stay the course, especially seeing how well everyone else has done. Just think, by now I would have lost AT LEAST 4 1/2 stone and been perfectly on target. I may even have been a lot lower, although Dad would have been back to haunt me about losing too much again!
But, heyho, that was not to be. As I said earlier, I hadn't wanted to go down the Slimming World route again, but at least this time I've gone in with prior knowledge of how the diet works, and there are now some changes that make the programme a lot more flexible than it used to be. You don't need to strictly keep to the red/green day format any longer - you can decide at each meal, so long as you're extra vigilant about free food choices throughout the day, ie. not all free food is 'free' on both days, so they need to be accounted for. This won't make sense to those who haven't done SW, I'm thinking Mrs here, and I haven't totally got my head around it yet either so I'm keeping to what I know at the moment and will probably experiment with the new-fangled features of the diet a little further down the line.
What I would say though is that it hasn't been half as bad as I thought it would be. I'm making 'old favourite' recipes that I found when I did the diet previously and both John and Elizabeth hae been appreciative of them so far. Even to John saying, 'Oh, you haven't made this for ages; I love it!'
As Lesley commented on my last post, I need to be aware of portion size and not take on board the old Slimming World adage that free food can be 'eaten freely'. It can, yes, and you can fill up on these low calorie foods and not feel deprived, but if you really want to not only lose weight but set a precedent for lifelong eating then moderation is the rule. I learnt a lot from LighterLife, maybe not from direct counselling as I was only able to attend 3 sessions, but I've avidly taken in everything that everyone has said here on these blogs and I'm carrying it all through to my new attack on Slimming World. I had a moment on Sunday when I felt out of control and the child took over. That was because I was with the family and Mum wanted us to go for lunch at the local Cypriot cafe. I thought of saying no, but I was only 25% of the vote so I kept quite and went along - then the moussaka beckoned....and the lemon sorbet (which turned out to be pineapple ice-cream, because the new waitress who only started that day had thought it was the lemon - and she put double chocolate in for some reason as well! I couldn't complain as I didn't want to upset her, she was trying, after all!). I will admit, I did feel I'd let myself down when I got home, but I decided not to beat myself up about it - that's what 'flexible syns' are for. But what I need to do is not be pressured by outside influences, be that only the family. I'd been 'good' all week before, and since, and I just needed to put one meal in perspective. That's something those of you who have the occasional 'binge' on a lettuce leaf, carrot stick, or slice of black forest gateau (lol) need to keep in mind....PERSPECTIVE!
This all sounds rather positive, doesn't it? Well, I am! I'm back doing something that I know has worked for me in the past, and I now know where I went wrong as well. I have a better grasp of the psychological 'pull' of food and how to combat it. I understand and accept that I will have the occasional lapse and I'm not going to beat myself up if I don't keep completely on track. I shall ensure I have my free food first and foremost, always have the Healthy Extras, for extra fibre, calcium and nutrients, and ensure that I always have my Syns. One of the reasons I failed with Slimming World in the past was that I didn't eat enough! Credit that!
Mrs mentioned that I might like to register on minimins, well I used to go on there a lot when I did Lighterlife and Cambridge, but I've only used it lately for palying the arcade (I love Word Eight and Solitaire). I've already decided that I'll take a look at the SW forum because, as we all know, the support gained from others in exactly the same position as you is worth so much that it can't be over-emphasised.
Positivity aside; it's my first weigh-in this evening. I don't actually feel as though I've lost weight. You know, that light feeling you get at the beginning of a diet because you've lost a lot of water. So fingers-crossed...XXX. The nearer I'll get to 7.30pm the more nervous I'll get. Can you lose weight on fear and adrenaline alone? I wish!!
Tuesday 31 July 2007
Sunday 29 July 2007
Change to the diet plan
Hi everyone. I've been reading everyone else's blogs and commented on them but haven't felt able to write anything on mine recently. I think, mrs, that may have been in a way due to the large e-mail tomes we've exchanged lately - and I was 'written out'. Also, mrs, I'm quite behind with yours. You write so much that if I miss a few days there's a lot to go over. I shall be catching up again soon but that explains why there haven't been any comments from me lately.
I notice a lot of comments on Lesley and Mrs blogs from others who I don't actually comment on (eg. peridot, guinea, in search of me, cerulean - probably a few others I haven't put down here...sorry if I left you out). If you look in here, 'Hello'. I do occasionally look into your blogs, but it takes so long to read everyone's and to comment that I have kept to a just a few - those right from the beginning of our journeys. I shall try to comment a little more on others - so if you see an unfamiliar post.....
So, back to the diet. Or the new diet. I have been trying to go it alone since my unsuccessful brush with LighterLife, Cambridge, and even Slimfast. I was doing well for a time, but as we all know, it's not easy, and I didn't always have the incentive to keep going. I had stopped weighing myself as the scales 'fear' was back with a vengeance and when I eventually got on them it was often to find that I'd put on a few pounds. I just can't seem to get down to the 11s (stones, that is). I thought I'd try to get into ketosis with a vey low carb plan, then I thought I'd try low GI, then it was Ian Marber's Food Doctor, but what with working and just the daily routine of life, I found the whole process of organising menu plans too daunting. The whole diet lark was getting too airy-fairy for me to commit to any particular plan I couldn't work out the best route to take. That's whi I liked LighterLife. It's so black and white. There are no decisions to be made. You eat the shakes or soups and you drink the water. That's it! Nothing more to it. And when you get firmly into abstinence and ketosis the hunger pangs are kept at bay. It's so much harder when you have to plan and organise; and with my mindset I didn't really know whether I was coming or going.
This is where Slimming World comes into the equation. I first did it 9 years ago, and it worked! I went from 12st 4lbs to 10st 12lbs and Dad told me off for getting too skinny! Can you imagine it! I've been up to 14st 11lbs now, I know what it feels like, physically, emotionally, and aesthetically to be so overweight. I don't want to go there again. I've tried to diet on my own, but I need to be accountable. I need to have 'consequences' if I don't do too well one week. I don't like all the 'happy clappy' of Slimming World, but I'm willing to put up with it to reach my goal. So, off I trotted to the Methodist Hall last Tuesday and weighed in at 12st 9lbs (less 2lbs when I weighed at home), that's a few pounds gain on my lowest over the last couple of months, so it needs doing! Straight onto the plan on Wednesday. I know how it works, I just need the support to make it work.
Wish me luck....please. I will get there. Good so far, other than an ice cream out at lunch today. But it will not deter me. I'm back to drinking the water again as a help.I'm on course again!!!!!
I notice a lot of comments on Lesley and Mrs blogs from others who I don't actually comment on (eg. peridot, guinea, in search of me, cerulean - probably a few others I haven't put down here...sorry if I left you out). If you look in here, 'Hello'. I do occasionally look into your blogs, but it takes so long to read everyone's and to comment that I have kept to a just a few - those right from the beginning of our journeys. I shall try to comment a little more on others - so if you see an unfamiliar post.....
So, back to the diet. Or the new diet. I have been trying to go it alone since my unsuccessful brush with LighterLife, Cambridge, and even Slimfast. I was doing well for a time, but as we all know, it's not easy, and I didn't always have the incentive to keep going. I had stopped weighing myself as the scales 'fear' was back with a vengeance and when I eventually got on them it was often to find that I'd put on a few pounds. I just can't seem to get down to the 11s (stones, that is). I thought I'd try to get into ketosis with a vey low carb plan, then I thought I'd try low GI, then it was Ian Marber's Food Doctor, but what with working and just the daily routine of life, I found the whole process of organising menu plans too daunting. The whole diet lark was getting too airy-fairy for me to commit to any particular plan I couldn't work out the best route to take. That's whi I liked LighterLife. It's so black and white. There are no decisions to be made. You eat the shakes or soups and you drink the water. That's it! Nothing more to it. And when you get firmly into abstinence and ketosis the hunger pangs are kept at bay. It's so much harder when you have to plan and organise; and with my mindset I didn't really know whether I was coming or going.
This is where Slimming World comes into the equation. I first did it 9 years ago, and it worked! I went from 12st 4lbs to 10st 12lbs and Dad told me off for getting too skinny! Can you imagine it! I've been up to 14st 11lbs now, I know what it feels like, physically, emotionally, and aesthetically to be so overweight. I don't want to go there again. I've tried to diet on my own, but I need to be accountable. I need to have 'consequences' if I don't do too well one week. I don't like all the 'happy clappy' of Slimming World, but I'm willing to put up with it to reach my goal. So, off I trotted to the Methodist Hall last Tuesday and weighed in at 12st 9lbs (less 2lbs when I weighed at home), that's a few pounds gain on my lowest over the last couple of months, so it needs doing! Straight onto the plan on Wednesday. I know how it works, I just need the support to make it work.
Wish me luck....please. I will get there. Good so far, other than an ice cream out at lunch today. But it will not deter me. I'm back to drinking the water again as a help.I'm on course again!!!!!
Wednesday 18 July 2007
Catching up...
I had a lovely time at the 'do' Saturday evening. Had a wine for everyone as promised, but stuck to white (not so many drinking that - so there was more in the bottle!!!). Slightly hungover Sunday but still managed to get to 9.00am Mass, so not too bad.
I finished my overtime work on Monday as the school holidays are looming and I don't go to work during the holidays, it's too much trouble sorting out childcare and I can't expect Mum to help out all the time. I'll still be working Saturday's and if the weekday branch gets really desperate and I can sort Elizabeth then I may go in for a day or two. I really hope they don't ring though as I could do with the break.
I went to a meeting at the secondary school I'm a governor at on Tuesday morning. This was to discuss a new government initiative known as BSF (Building Schools for the Future). There was a small contingent from the governing body, the Head and a number of Local Authority Education personnel. Luckily I was able to follow along quite well and I did make a few comments and ask a questions. The thing is, when I'm in this sort of situation, the non-school staff don't know me from Adam and only recognise me as a member of the governors' and as far as they're concerned I'm knowledgable about what they're talking about - and the jargon: they speak 'to' me as though I understand everything. A lot of the time I don't. I'm just a Mum at home who does an occasional part-time job in a building society.
The same thing's happened in other circumstances - each year I invigilate for a FE College (although I haven't this Summer because I've been at Nationwide) and I was promoted at a point where I thought, 'are they sure about this?'. Someone thought I knew more than I actually did.
I was at a Community Forum one evening, sitting quietly at the back, amid about 150 other people, looking at the paperwork, when I get a tap on my shoulder asking me if I'm Professor so-and-so from the University of East London, there to give a speech. Blimey! Well, I did used to work at UEL (I left when I was pregnant) but I was only an administrator in the Registry at the time. Maybe having worked at a University you get a certain 'look'? Mysterious?
I often think, I'm going to get found out one day. Someone will realise that it's all bluff.........that I don't fit in.....
Why am I writing all this? I don't know.... Although, in a way, I do know. I'm at a point in my life where I want to 'do' something. I was talking about it with the Chair of Governors on Saturday evening. I used to have a career (Branch Manager at Nationwide) but that all finished in 1989 when I took redundancy. There was a rationalisation programme because they needed to reduce the management levels. I'd had quite a bit of illness and been in and out of hospital, all related to gynae problems. Knowing I would need IVF to get pregnant, the redundancy money would come in handy; I knew I didn't want to work once I had the baby (if I should be blessed), so I left. I then worked at UEL for 5 years and left there to have Elizabeth (3rd attempt at IVF). I still knew people at Nationwide and they contacted me when Lizzie was 18 months old and asked if I wanted to help out Saturdays (great, I thought!) and the rest is history. Elizabeth's of an age where I'm not required so much - I don't need to do school runs any longer, so I could do something else now. I don't want to work full-time with the Society (oh, no!) but I don't know what else to do. I was looking around the room at the 'do' and felt really envious of the staff at School. They have 'vocations', and professional status. They are doing something worthwhile, although it helps to be in such a high-performing school. I had applications in for Teacher's Training College when I was in the 6th Form but...I didn't have the courage to go away from home. I'd also met John (I was 17, he was 22). So I didn't go. I've not had too many regrets, and I often wonder if I would have stuck to teaching, but at least I would have given it a chance. It's so true about youth being wasted on the young. I wish I knew and felt then what I do now!
I need to take stock I think. I need to find something for me; something that is going to fill a void that's beginning to open up somewhere within me. John and I need to talk (dinner somewhere I think, as it's impossible to have a proper conversation with Madam around).
We're going to have to get our heads together Mrs Lard......
LATER: -
I've already started doing something for me. I've just got back from the Adult Education Centre having enrolled for a Pilates course and an entry level French course. I wanted to do Italian but it's on a Thursday morning and because the Pilates is on a Tuesday afternoon that would mean that I wouldn't be able to work 2 days a week. So, French at 9.30am and then Pilates at 12.30pm. I also wanted to enrol for the Salsa class on Tuesday evening but the course has been closed due to staffing problems. But, oh well, I tried!
Importantly, this means that I won't be available for work on a Tuesday, which will make it so much easier to say, 'No!'.
I finished my overtime work on Monday as the school holidays are looming and I don't go to work during the holidays, it's too much trouble sorting out childcare and I can't expect Mum to help out all the time. I'll still be working Saturday's and if the weekday branch gets really desperate and I can sort Elizabeth then I may go in for a day or two. I really hope they don't ring though as I could do with the break.
I went to a meeting at the secondary school I'm a governor at on Tuesday morning. This was to discuss a new government initiative known as BSF (Building Schools for the Future). There was a small contingent from the governing body, the Head and a number of Local Authority Education personnel. Luckily I was able to follow along quite well and I did make a few comments and ask a questions. The thing is, when I'm in this sort of situation, the non-school staff don't know me from Adam and only recognise me as a member of the governors' and as far as they're concerned I'm knowledgable about what they're talking about - and the jargon: they speak 'to' me as though I understand everything. A lot of the time I don't. I'm just a Mum at home who does an occasional part-time job in a building society.
The same thing's happened in other circumstances - each year I invigilate for a FE College (although I haven't this Summer because I've been at Nationwide) and I was promoted at a point where I thought, 'are they sure about this?'. Someone thought I knew more than I actually did.
I was at a Community Forum one evening, sitting quietly at the back, amid about 150 other people, looking at the paperwork, when I get a tap on my shoulder asking me if I'm Professor so-and-so from the University of East London, there to give a speech. Blimey! Well, I did used to work at UEL (I left when I was pregnant) but I was only an administrator in the Registry at the time. Maybe having worked at a University you get a certain 'look'? Mysterious?
I often think, I'm going to get found out one day. Someone will realise that it's all bluff.........that I don't fit in.....
Why am I writing all this? I don't know.... Although, in a way, I do know. I'm at a point in my life where I want to 'do' something. I was talking about it with the Chair of Governors on Saturday evening. I used to have a career (Branch Manager at Nationwide) but that all finished in 1989 when I took redundancy. There was a rationalisation programme because they needed to reduce the management levels. I'd had quite a bit of illness and been in and out of hospital, all related to gynae problems. Knowing I would need IVF to get pregnant, the redundancy money would come in handy; I knew I didn't want to work once I had the baby (if I should be blessed), so I left. I then worked at UEL for 5 years and left there to have Elizabeth (3rd attempt at IVF). I still knew people at Nationwide and they contacted me when Lizzie was 18 months old and asked if I wanted to help out Saturdays (great, I thought!) and the rest is history. Elizabeth's of an age where I'm not required so much - I don't need to do school runs any longer, so I could do something else now. I don't want to work full-time with the Society (oh, no!) but I don't know what else to do. I was looking around the room at the 'do' and felt really envious of the staff at School. They have 'vocations', and professional status. They are doing something worthwhile, although it helps to be in such a high-performing school. I had applications in for Teacher's Training College when I was in the 6th Form but...I didn't have the courage to go away from home. I'd also met John (I was 17, he was 22). So I didn't go. I've not had too many regrets, and I often wonder if I would have stuck to teaching, but at least I would have given it a chance. It's so true about youth being wasted on the young. I wish I knew and felt then what I do now!
I need to take stock I think. I need to find something for me; something that is going to fill a void that's beginning to open up somewhere within me. John and I need to talk (dinner somewhere I think, as it's impossible to have a proper conversation with Madam around).
We're going to have to get our heads together Mrs Lard......
LATER: -
I've already started doing something for me. I've just got back from the Adult Education Centre having enrolled for a Pilates course and an entry level French course. I wanted to do Italian but it's on a Thursday morning and because the Pilates is on a Tuesday afternoon that would mean that I wouldn't be able to work 2 days a week. So, French at 9.30am and then Pilates at 12.30pm. I also wanted to enrol for the Salsa class on Tuesday evening but the course has been closed due to staffing problems. But, oh well, I tried!
Importantly, this means that I won't be available for work on a Tuesday, which will make it so much easier to say, 'No!'.
Saturday 14 July 2007
Oh, he's such a charmer!
Saturday today, so it was off to work this morning. I really do feel more at home at this Branch. I'm only there for 3 - 4 hours a week but I've been there 11 years (the longest than anyone else) and I had been on the Management team there in the 1980's when i'd worked full-time, so it feels more like 'my branch'.
We were fairly quite this morning, I don't know where the customers were; they're normally queuing out the door! So we had time for a little banter between ourselves. Anyway, I was sitting minding my own business, when Kom, the newer young lad whispers, 'You're looking fit today, Chris!'. Well, you could have knocked me down with a feather. I laughed, told him he was 'naughty' and that I was old enough to be his mother. That didn't stop him though, he prefers the 'older woman' apparently. Cheered me up though!!
I'm off out to a dinner-dance tonight. It's the staff do for Liz's school, where I'm a Governor. So I'll have a glass of wine for each and everyone of you. Red or white?
We were fairly quite this morning, I don't know where the customers were; they're normally queuing out the door! So we had time for a little banter between ourselves. Anyway, I was sitting minding my own business, when Kom, the newer young lad whispers, 'You're looking fit today, Chris!'. Well, you could have knocked me down with a feather. I laughed, told him he was 'naughty' and that I was old enough to be his mother. That didn't stop him though, he prefers the 'older woman' apparently. Cheered me up though!!
I'm off out to a dinner-dance tonight. It's the staff do for Liz's school, where I'm a Governor. So I'll have a glass of wine for each and everyone of you. Red or white?
Friday 13 July 2007
Sorry about yesterday...
....I had a bad day. I'm not a lone bod, I'm afraid. If I have a project on the go or have lots to do then a little 'my time' is great, but I just don't do alone just for the sake of it. It doesn't help when the weather's unco-operative either. Maybe I had an attack of S.A.D.?
Thank you, Lesley and Mrs for your comments. Yesterday, Lesley, I did find it hard not 'picking' from the cupboard but I was rather choosy and kept to fruit and nuts and a couple of tea biscuits. It still makes me feel bad about myself though. Today has been better - I'm not picking and I'm into the water again. I just needed a little moral support to pull me through I think. So, thanks again to both of you. Although I am wondering what ideas Mrs has in store for me. I wait with bated breath!
Talking about water - there's a really interesting site I've read that gives the low-down on why we should drink the aqua vita. Have a read. It won't be a great revelation to followers of LighterLife and Cambridge as both regimes insist that water be part of the diet but it's worth looking at.
The web address is http://www.inch-aweigh.com/water.html
Thank you, Lesley and Mrs for your comments. Yesterday, Lesley, I did find it hard not 'picking' from the cupboard but I was rather choosy and kept to fruit and nuts and a couple of tea biscuits. It still makes me feel bad about myself though. Today has been better - I'm not picking and I'm into the water again. I just needed a little moral support to pull me through I think. So, thanks again to both of you. Although I am wondering what ideas Mrs has in store for me. I wait with bated breath!
Talking about water - there's a really interesting site I've read that gives the low-down on why we should drink the aqua vita. Have a read. It won't be a great revelation to followers of LighterLife and Cambridge as both regimes insist that water be part of the diet but it's worth looking at.
The web address is http://www.inch-aweigh.com/water.html
Thursday 12 July 2007
Hard going
At last I've managed to find the time to post. First, I couldn't get on the laptop and then I couldn't get onto Blogger. But, never mind, I didn't really have much to say.
I don't suppose I've really been 'dieting' at all this week. I feel a little down actually. I was at work on Monday but I'm not needed for a few days so I've been at home. No matter how much I'm beginning to dislike being at work I get horribly 'down' when I'm at home on my own. I can see how the depression could set in again. I popped into Town on Tuesday morning to meet 'the girls' for breakfast (only coffee and toast, but the waitress forgot the toast) and then off to Tesco's for the weekly shop, but since then I've been 'home alone'.
I thought of going to Lakeside but I don't have the money of the enthusiasm for that. There's nothing we really need for the home, I haven't done particularly well in buying bits for Lizzie recently(I can't seem to get the sizing right for her) and there isn't anything I'm desperate for for myself. I also find it rather soul-destroying just wandering the shops on my own, unless I'm there for a particular purpose.
I was reading Mrs Lard's post yesterday about her shopping trip with other members of her LighterLife group and I felt quite envious of her. She's had her own issues over acceptance of her changing body shape and that she's now smaller and able to fit into and buy clothes that in the past she thought were completely out of her league, which I'm sure everyone else following LighterLife and Cambridge or similar have had to face. I thought that by now I would be in a similar position. That I would have reached my target weight and the greatest worry I would have would be which pair of tousers/skirt/dress/top (delete as appropriate) I wanted to buy. But although I have lost 2 1/2 stone and now in a size 14 I'm beginning to not feel smaller anymore. My tummy feels bloated. I feel....bigger. I know I'm not; I weighed myself on Tuesday morning and I've lost 1lb since the last time I weighed. Still not down to that 11 something though. One of the things that came out of Mrs's post was that as a bigger woman you/I are/am so happy to find something that fits that you/I buy it just because it does fit and feel grateful (?) that there's actually something in the shops for you/me. Mrs said she was afraid of buying something because she was afraid she wouldn't fit into it next week. Well, maybe she won't, but that will be because she's lost more weight. With me it could be because I've put the weight back on.
I was walking along the road the other day in jeans and a tee-shirt and the husband of a friend was walking towards me. 'You've lost a lot of weight, Christine?' he said. So it is still noticeable. I suppose I've just got complacent. But I want more to come off; and I want it to come off quickly like on LighterLife. I thought I might get in touch with my Cambridge Counsellor again and purchase a few more packs (if she'll let me, because Cambridge also said I had to stop when she spoke to them) and then I thought I could have packs along with food on one of their menu programmes (can't remember the names of them at the mo, I'd have to get the books out). I'm not sure what to do. Yesterday I had a Slimfast bar for breakfast, today my eyes are 'pinker', and itchy. So I suppose I'd have the same problems if I started on Cambridge again.
Oh, s*d it, s*d it, s*d it!!!
Bad day again. Sorry! I'll work it out and be better soon.....
I don't suppose I've really been 'dieting' at all this week. I feel a little down actually. I was at work on Monday but I'm not needed for a few days so I've been at home. No matter how much I'm beginning to dislike being at work I get horribly 'down' when I'm at home on my own. I can see how the depression could set in again. I popped into Town on Tuesday morning to meet 'the girls' for breakfast (only coffee and toast, but the waitress forgot the toast) and then off to Tesco's for the weekly shop, but since then I've been 'home alone'.
I thought of going to Lakeside but I don't have the money of the enthusiasm for that. There's nothing we really need for the home, I haven't done particularly well in buying bits for Lizzie recently(I can't seem to get the sizing right for her) and there isn't anything I'm desperate for for myself. I also find it rather soul-destroying just wandering the shops on my own, unless I'm there for a particular purpose.
I was reading Mrs Lard's post yesterday about her shopping trip with other members of her LighterLife group and I felt quite envious of her. She's had her own issues over acceptance of her changing body shape and that she's now smaller and able to fit into and buy clothes that in the past she thought were completely out of her league, which I'm sure everyone else following LighterLife and Cambridge or similar have had to face. I thought that by now I would be in a similar position. That I would have reached my target weight and the greatest worry I would have would be which pair of tousers/skirt/dress/top (delete as appropriate) I wanted to buy. But although I have lost 2 1/2 stone and now in a size 14 I'm beginning to not feel smaller anymore. My tummy feels bloated. I feel....bigger. I know I'm not; I weighed myself on Tuesday morning and I've lost 1lb since the last time I weighed. Still not down to that 11 something though. One of the things that came out of Mrs's post was that as a bigger woman you/I are/am so happy to find something that fits that you/I buy it just because it does fit and feel grateful (?) that there's actually something in the shops for you/me. Mrs said she was afraid of buying something because she was afraid she wouldn't fit into it next week. Well, maybe she won't, but that will be because she's lost more weight. With me it could be because I've put the weight back on.
I was walking along the road the other day in jeans and a tee-shirt and the husband of a friend was walking towards me. 'You've lost a lot of weight, Christine?' he said. So it is still noticeable. I suppose I've just got complacent. But I want more to come off; and I want it to come off quickly like on LighterLife. I thought I might get in touch with my Cambridge Counsellor again and purchase a few more packs (if she'll let me, because Cambridge also said I had to stop when she spoke to them) and then I thought I could have packs along with food on one of their menu programmes (can't remember the names of them at the mo, I'd have to get the books out). I'm not sure what to do. Yesterday I had a Slimfast bar for breakfast, today my eyes are 'pinker', and itchy. So I suppose I'd have the same problems if I started on Cambridge again.
Oh, s*d it, s*d it, s*d it!!!
Bad day again. Sorry! I'll work it out and be better soon.....
Thursday 5 July 2007
Meal out last night
Yesterday was the day out for my temp branch. They had all decided to have lay-ins then meet at 1pm to go bowling, then to the cinema to see Shrek 3 and then to Frankie & Benny's for a meal. I'd decided to only go to the meal in the evening so met everyone at the restaurant at 7pm.
We'd already pre-ordered our meals a few days ago and I thought I'd start with a Mushroom Alfredo (in a thick cheese sauce) which I'd had at another F&B chain before Christmas and it was really delicious and thinking I'd indulge myself again. How wrong could I be; it was revolting, badly presented and very liquidy - Ugh! The main course, lamb shank in a mint gravy with steamed veg and creamed potatoes was yummy though (I want the recipe!). Unfortunately though, I followed the pack, had a glass of red wine and then finished off the evening with an ice-cream sundae.
I haven't eaten so much since I started eating properly again and did I know it! I couldn't move, felt so bloated and uncomfortable. I hadn't gone mad and had seconds or anything like that, it's just that my stomach doesn't seem to like too much in one go any longer. I should listen to it in future as well as one of the hospital guidelines I have to follow is no large meals, and no eating 4 hours before going to bed. I wish I'd followed that last night. By the time I got home I felt awful. Even the wine had gone to my head (and sorry folks, but I was driving - I normally allow myself one glass and that's it).
I still felt uncomfortable when I got up this morning but it's worn off during the day. But note to self: no more 3 course meals, stick to starter and main, or main and dessert. Eyes are definitely bigger than tummy now.
We'd already pre-ordered our meals a few days ago and I thought I'd start with a Mushroom Alfredo (in a thick cheese sauce) which I'd had at another F&B chain before Christmas and it was really delicious and thinking I'd indulge myself again. How wrong could I be; it was revolting, badly presented and very liquidy - Ugh! The main course, lamb shank in a mint gravy with steamed veg and creamed potatoes was yummy though (I want the recipe!). Unfortunately though, I followed the pack, had a glass of red wine and then finished off the evening with an ice-cream sundae.
I haven't eaten so much since I started eating properly again and did I know it! I couldn't move, felt so bloated and uncomfortable. I hadn't gone mad and had seconds or anything like that, it's just that my stomach doesn't seem to like too much in one go any longer. I should listen to it in future as well as one of the hospital guidelines I have to follow is no large meals, and no eating 4 hours before going to bed. I wish I'd followed that last night. By the time I got home I felt awful. Even the wine had gone to my head (and sorry folks, but I was driving - I normally allow myself one glass and that's it).
I still felt uncomfortable when I got up this morning but it's worn off during the day. But note to self: no more 3 course meals, stick to starter and main, or main and dessert. Eyes are definitely bigger than tummy now.
Tuesday 3 July 2007
To weigh or not to weigh....?
Since I had to give up on LighterLife and Cambridge...oh, and Slimfast, I've set my own personal weigh-in day to first thing Monday morning (you know, after the first wee, before I've drunk anything and before I've dressed - to be as low as possible!!). Well, sometimes it's gone well and sometimes not so well. I still can't get below 12stone. I'm up and down by 2 or 3 lbs and it's getting so annoying. So, this week I've deliberately not weighed myself. People are still commenting on the changes, especially the girls at work in my Saturday Branch, so much so that Karen said, 'You're not going to lose anymore though, are you Chris?' in a very concerned mannner. And that's coming from someone who's about the size of a matchstick!
I feel that by getting on the scales every week I'm not doing myself any favours. It's only a number, and I'd love the scales to say something like 9stone 7lb, but it's never going to happen (especially now I'm not doing a VLCD). Even if it did I'm sure I'd look like a skinny waif which would be great at 18, but not at over 30 years older than that! I was reading 'The Power: 11 Ways Women Gain Unhealthy Weight and How You Can Take Charge Of Them' by Sue Ellin Browder and she actually says it's healthier for a woman to carry a little weight as she gets older than to be too skinny - something to do with bone density if I remember. This is a fantastic book and one you can dip in and out of as not all chapters will be relevant, I'd recommend it, if only from the library. I'm keeping that in mind, what she says about holding a little weight as you get older as I've always thought too skinny women of a certain age always tend to look a lot older than their years. I will still try to get down, as my BMI is still at 28, and although BMI is NOT the be-all and end-all, I am fully aware that my health can only improve by losing another 1/2 to 1 stone. As an aside, I had my blood pressure taken when I was in hospital the other week and it read at 117/72. Absolutely brilliant! It's never been ultra high, even when I was pregnant, but before Christmas it was a lot higher than that and I'm sure the weight was a contributory factor.
I see comments on a number of the other blogs, or on minimins, where girls are trying to get into a size 10 or get down to as low a weight as they can. For a time I thought, Yes, I want to do that, but reality has set in. I don't have the luxury of ketosis any longer. I don't have the luxury of not eating and not needing to worry about food - and it is a luxury. You don't realise that when you're abstaining. You just notice what everybody else can eat, or what you can buy in the supermarket when shopping for the family. Yes, that's when it gets hard, but you know you can't have any of it and, if you're keeping to the diet wholeheartedly then you get over it. But, when you've been there and that option's been taken away from you, as in my case, it's a lot harder to keep to the straight and narrow.
The straight and narrow I will keep on though. I will weigh myself occasionally and if and when I have an 11 to report then you, dear reader, will be the first to know. But I'm not going to beat myself up about it. If, on the 1st January, I'd known that 4 months later I would weigh 21/2stone lighter, that I'd be back in my size 14s, which I can't remember when I last wore, and that my uniform skirt, which I've had since April last year and never been able wear, would be back to front by the end of the day, I'd have gone, 'Oh, yeah?'. So I'm going with that and living for the moment.
Freedom from the scales!
I feel that by getting on the scales every week I'm not doing myself any favours. It's only a number, and I'd love the scales to say something like 9stone 7lb, but it's never going to happen (especially now I'm not doing a VLCD). Even if it did I'm sure I'd look like a skinny waif which would be great at 18, but not at over 30 years older than that! I was reading 'The Power: 11 Ways Women Gain Unhealthy Weight and How You Can Take Charge Of Them' by Sue Ellin Browder and she actually says it's healthier for a woman to carry a little weight as she gets older than to be too skinny - something to do with bone density if I remember. This is a fantastic book and one you can dip in and out of as not all chapters will be relevant, I'd recommend it, if only from the library. I'm keeping that in mind, what she says about holding a little weight as you get older as I've always thought too skinny women of a certain age always tend to look a lot older than their years. I will still try to get down, as my BMI is still at 28, and although BMI is NOT the be-all and end-all, I am fully aware that my health can only improve by losing another 1/2 to 1 stone. As an aside, I had my blood pressure taken when I was in hospital the other week and it read at 117/72. Absolutely brilliant! It's never been ultra high, even when I was pregnant, but before Christmas it was a lot higher than that and I'm sure the weight was a contributory factor.
I see comments on a number of the other blogs, or on minimins, where girls are trying to get into a size 10 or get down to as low a weight as they can. For a time I thought, Yes, I want to do that, but reality has set in. I don't have the luxury of ketosis any longer. I don't have the luxury of not eating and not needing to worry about food - and it is a luxury. You don't realise that when you're abstaining. You just notice what everybody else can eat, or what you can buy in the supermarket when shopping for the family. Yes, that's when it gets hard, but you know you can't have any of it and, if you're keeping to the diet wholeheartedly then you get over it. But, when you've been there and that option's been taken away from you, as in my case, it's a lot harder to keep to the straight and narrow.
The straight and narrow I will keep on though. I will weigh myself occasionally and if and when I have an 11 to report then you, dear reader, will be the first to know. But I'm not going to beat myself up about it. If, on the 1st January, I'd known that 4 months later I would weigh 21/2stone lighter, that I'd be back in my size 14s, which I can't remember when I last wore, and that my uniform skirt, which I've had since April last year and never been able wear, would be back to front by the end of the day, I'd have gone, 'Oh, yeah?'. So I'm going with that and living for the moment.
Freedom from the scales!
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