Satchets worked!!!

Thanks everyone for your wise and kind words of empathy over my visit to the hospital. I wish I didn't feel so overwhelmed over matters like this but I've been to so many different hospitals over the years and they always get to me, I'm afraid.
Anyway, I took my satchets of absolutely vile medecine yesterday morning and I've worn the carpet pile down on the stairs rushing up them every few minutes. And I've lost 3/4lb overnight, so something good, eh. The satchets still appear to be working this morning as well, which means I'm not going anywhere today. Lizzie and I can find a good film to watch this afternoon maybe?

I've not done very well with dieting over the last couple of weeks. It's very hard trying to diet 'normally' after having followed weeks of LighterLife and Cambridge. At least on those diets you KNOW the weight is going to come off if you follow the rules. With what I'm trying to do now it's so easy to fail. I've yo-yoed up and down with a 3lb margin since coming out of ketosis. After I stopped LL and CD I still managed to get down to 12stone but once I came out of ketosis I put on 3lbs more or less straight away. Then I lost a lb, then I put on 1/2, then I lost again. I haven't actually logged the changes on my ticker as the thought of 'seeing' the weight go up again on a chart would do nothing for my motivation. Yesterday morning (Monday) I weighed in at 12st 2lb, but then 12st 11/4lb this morning after the satchets from yesterday.

I had a really grotty day at work on Saturday. I'd asked for Saturday 2nd June off a couple of weeks ago as it's half-term and we'd thought of popping up to Norfolk for a few days. We have family up there and John and I own a property in Great Yarmouth that we thought we would check out. But would you believe it, the 'powers that be' hadn't decided whether I could have the time off!!! That along with a couple of miserable customers really riled me. We made up for it in the evening though. Lizzie stayed at Mum's for the night and we went off to the theatre to see 'A Slice of Saturday Night', a musical based in the Club-A-Go-Go in 1963 - very funny and very good entertainment.

Sunday and Monday were real washouts here, as I'm sure they were wherever everyone else was. Lizzie went to the cemetry with Mum and my sister, Janice, as it was my Dad's birthday and they wanted to put some flowers on his grave (well, on his rose bush). John and I decided to take advantage of the time on our own and went out for Sunday Lunch - nothing grand, just to the cafe around the corner, but nice all the same.

This morning I've been ringing hotels and B&Bs in Norfolk trying to book a couple of rooms for 2 nights. As work couldn't decide whether to give me the time and said they would let me know Tuesday (!?!) I told them they needn't bother and I'd make other arrangements (you'd think you lived to work, not the other way round sometimes). Anyway, I've booked 2 rooms for 2 nights from tomorrow, in a 15th Century Grade II listed timbered cottage in the heart of the Norfolk countryside. Looks very nice online. We'll drive up there once John gets in from work tomorrow (I've asked him to leave work early, but...?) and should get there in time to pop along to the local for a nice dinner. On Thursday we'll drive to Great Yarmouth to see our letting agent and have a look at the house whilst Mum takes Lizzie to the Model Village (haven't seen it for years, wonder whether it's still as good as it was then?).On Friday we'll spend the day with Mum's cousin who lives quite near to where we're staying. Then drive home and back to work on Saturday. All go, eh!

I shall try to be good on the food front whilst away. But then again, I don't really think it'll be ice-cream weather!

I've seen the Consultant....

I'm just back from my visit to the Consultant this morning. I've got tears in my eyes as I type this, not for any awful reason, just from the fact that I feel down. I was Ok before I went, other than having been up for 3 hours overnight with horrible, horrible indigestion type pains. The pain woke me at about 1.30 and in the end I decided to come downstairs. An antacid and 2 pints of water later, I went back to bed at 3.45 and then laid awake for ages before dropping off. Felt like death when I had to get up for Lizzie at 7.00.

I got into to see the Consultant and really had trouble explaining my problems, maninly because the condition is chronic (the exp dia)and goes back so many years that I can't say when it started or whether there's any catalyst. The acute symptoms (the pains)that have come since stopping LighterLife and Cambridge are a lot easier to explain, but of course once I mentioned the diets, he jumped on that straight away and definitely showed his anti feelings. I'm afraid I'm rather an emotional person and when something affects me as much as this the tears well up and I find it very hard to suppress them. That's when I begin to feel really stupid and annoyed with myself. I wish I could be detached - at least whilst I'm trying to explain what's been happening to me.

Anyway, I was sent off for an x-ray of my stomach and, would you believe it, I was found to be very constipated - definitely not a diagnosis I would have given! That, apparently, would partly explain the amount of pain I've been in. So, I've come home with a couple of sachets that I have to take with water (sounds familiar!) but, in this case, I need to stay VERY close to a loo. (Acually, he was a lot more sympathetic when he saw the x-ray)

I also had loads of bloodtests and have to go back to see him for the results on the 4th June. To be continued.....

Thought I'd cheer myself up with a bit of retail therapy after I left the hospital but all to no avail. I really don't like shopping for clothes. I only tried on a pair of cropped trousers in Next but even the 16 wouldn't go round my bloated tummy. So, into Starbucks for a skinny cappuchino, and home.

John's just got in and he wants to pop to Lakeside to buy some trousers, so off to the dreaded shops again. Catch up with you all later.

LATER: back from Lakeside. John's got his trousers and I bought a crocheted white cardigan from Wallis (it's lovely), so not a totally wasted shopping trip. Lizzie was hankering after a baby hamster from the pet shop but we didn't cave in. We honestly didn't believe that she'd clean him out!!! Oh, and 3 pairs of lacy knickers. My existing ones look a little too like the ones on 'How To Look Good Naked' (the before shots!).

John and I managed to have a good talk while we were having a cup of tea and Lizzie was deciding what to buy in the petshop. He understands why I feel so upset about today at the hospital - basically, because I've put up with everything for so long. He's going to make sure he comes with me on the 4th as I can never take in what's being said to me when I'm a little 'traumatised'.

Have a good weekend everyone.

It worked!

Great. I'm back in the Land of Blog.

Not much has happened over the last few days, so not much to say really. I'm not at work today and I'm really ashamed to admit that I've done nothing other than hang a couple of loads of washing on the line (in my newly pruned garden) and watch TV. There's loads I could be doing, and loads I should be doing, but I just don't have the energy or the motivation at the moment. It's always the same when I'm not at work - I get lonely and down. I never used to be like this. I used to do things, I used to have hobbies. It's almost as though I'm trying to capture the little time I have to myself and 'recuperate' but all I do is feel guilty about being at home. I'm not making sense, am I?

I went to the GP this morning to pick up the letter for the hospital on Friday. I had to have a peek (as you do) and it came as a shock to see her comments on my medical history, namely depression (actually no longer a problem -although you wouldn't think so from this post), hysterctomy (but she got the date wrong by 6 years) and obesity. To see the word obesity written down to describe me came as a blow. No wonder I feel down.

Don't know what happened to the last post..

Thanks everyone for your comments on my last post - I found them all on the days before or , from mrs, on Cath's (I think!). I don't know what happened to the 'comments' link. Hopefully everything will be ok this time. So I'm just about to post this to see if it works. Here goes......

Dieting together helps you lose weight......

I've just read an article about dieting in Prima magazine. It says that for a diet or exercise plan to be successful you should get a buddy to go along with you. Apparently, researchers at Tufts University in the US have found that regular support helped people stick with a weight-loss plan. See! I knew there was a pretty good reason for this blogging lark!!!!

I hope everyone is doing well. I've had quite a few positive comments this weekend about the change in my body shape. But I've also had another friend say that I look older. She suggested that I keep the weight off my body but put it back on in my face (I'd oblige if I could).

As to the teaser I posted on Lesley's blog: John and I went to one of his colleague's houses on Friday and we've bought a Pilates Performer from her. She didn't have a very large house and the family complained every time she left it up in the living room. I've looked at the machines on QVC over the months and John is due to start Pilates classes along with physio for his back so we decided to take a look. To buy from QVC the machine would have cost about £200, but we managed to get Sarah to take £40 off us and she was happy, so a win-win situation all round. We've yet to put the bed together so I can't say I've had a go yet but we'll get it sorted in the next few days hopefully.

I've also been doing the step machine. I haven't pulled it into the middle of the room though this time as I tend to loose balance, so I keep it in fromt of the french doors and keeping one finger on the door frame to keep me steady I can happily step away while looking over the garden. John doesn't beleive I've been using it as it hasn't been moved and he says it's a bit dusty (well that's just my lack of housekeeping showing up).

Talking of gardens (as I just was); we don't have an enormous garden (85ft x 24ft) but it's full of mature shrubs that have now become a little too overgrown. I'm ashamed to admit that we don't look after the garden as well as we used to - life has changed, daughter has grown up, we've got older, John's back, etc, etc. We used to have a gardener a few years back and decided maybe it was time to get another to prune shrubs correctly, rather than just hack and hope for the best (I have a weigela that John cut back just before it bloomed one year. It's taken about another 4 for it to come back to anywhere near how good it used to look). Anyway, I came home the other week and parked outside my house was a large gardener's van so I stuck a note under his windscreen for him to knock. He did, I booked him, and he came last Friday; and 31/2 hours and £100 later I have a garden with a 'new haircut'. I made the girls at work laugh about it as, when they kept forgetting and then asking me what I was doing with my day off, I reminded them that I was having Desperate Housewives day. (you remember - Gabrille Solis and her gardener,for fans of DH). I hasten to put the record straight - the DH day was all in my head. But the gardener was a bit of a hunk!

I've just been reading everyone's blogs and commented on something Lesley said about exercise and what the individual LighterLife counsellors feelings are on exercise and LighterLifing. We didn't get as far as discussing exercise as I only got to week 3 before I had to stop. I know Heather (my LLC) had been reading this, and if you still are and are willing to comment, then please email me with your views. Exercise seems to be a contentious point with some people. And if you are still reading Heather, sorry I haven't sent you that Lifeline we spoke about last time I saw you. I'm not going to make excuses (you'd just see straight through them!) and I really want to make time to do it. I read a lot on the blogs about the work you are all doing in class and really wish I had been able to continue taking part but another part of me finds it all quite scary. I don't find it easy to analyse myself and come to any worthwhile conclusions (hence probably the reason I haven't sent Heather the Lifeline). I do envy the self-knowledge that mrs, Lesley and Sam have got from the classes.

Hope you're all having a good Sunday and that the weather's fine wherever you all are. It's sunny here but a little windy, so chilly in the shade. Have a good week everyone.

Chris x (((hugs))) to all.

Made the BUPA appointment

All set for Friday, 25th May @ 10.45am. Need to pick up a referral letter from the GP

Just a few thoughts about eating....

I was responding to one of mrs' posts this morning and felt that I'd copy it here. I had mixed emotions about having to come off LighterLife and Cambridge and was really worried about how I would manage back on food. There must be others out there feeling the same, hence this post:

"Having been both on a VLCD and now trying to 'eat to lose weight' I can expand on your thoughts slightly. I was really nervous about starting to eat again, especially as I couldn't do a Management route where food was introduced gradually. Even though, before dieting, I didn't have a 'see food and had to eat it mentality', I still had a huge problem with my weight and I was petrified that once I started eating I wouldn't be able to stop, and the getting on for 3 stone that I've lost would all come straight back on again. This was especially a worry as one of the benefits of ketosis is a mild suppresion of hunger. I thought that once hunger was an option, that would be it.

This was one of the reasons I wanted to stay in ketosis for as long as I could, along with the fat-burning benefit. I'm more than happy to report though that I'm out of ketosis, I'm eating healthily (even allowing an occasional glass of wine) and the weight is going down - slowly, but now going the right way, after an slight increase (probably the glycogen being replaced).
And I have been too busy to eat - and I have stopped when I feel I've had enough. And I've found that my stomach has found the 'off-switch'.

So, I feel more in control than I have for a really long time."

Seen the doctor

I sat in the waiting room for half an hour before I got to see my GP. I was in two minds whether to stay or leave. I've been in pain today, but I wasn't when in the surgery. It's at the times when I have problems that I know I need to see the doctor, but when I'm Ok I feel I'd be wasting her time and I should just get on with life. Anyway, I sat there and eventually got in. She was lovely. She knows the problems I've had in the past. I explained about how my eyes reacted to the foodpacks, the return of the bowel problems, and the amount of pain I've had since starting back on food. To cut a long story short, she agreed to refer me to a dietician, but then she decided to check out my tummy. That changed everything. She noticed that my abdomen was very swollen, and more on one side than the other, so I am being referred firstly to a gastro-enterologist. I need to contact the local BUPA hospital to make an appointment and then she'll do a letter for the consultant. So here we go again! I just hope there's not another colonoscopy on the agenda.

Another goal met

I wasn't at work yesterday so I decided to have a relaxing afternoon. What better than a cup of tea, a good book and a hot bath (all together). What's so different about a bath, I hear you say. Well, a lot, if you haven't been able to have one for years. I've showered for about 3 years or so now, having been unable to pull myself up out of the bath and ending uo getting into a panic with the thought of needing help to get out. We changed our bathroom suite a few years back, from a cream suite with a 750cm bath with handles to a white 600cm steel bath, with no grips. At the time I thought a bath was a bath, was a bath. But, how wrong! With my weight gain, and admittedly, a lack of arm strength, I've found it increasingly difficult to use the bath. I thought I'd give it a go yesterday, and viola, Easy!! Sat forward, hands on side of bath, quick push, and I was up!

I was feeling so relaxed in the bath that my book almost ended up in the water - I kept dosing off. A nice feeling. Showers are great for what they're meant for, but you really can't beat a little bit of luxury, can you?

I did my self-imposed weighin yesterday morning and I've lost a pound. I'm noot back to the 12stone yet, but I've lost 1 of the 3lb I put on, so it's going in the right direction.

I'm off to the doctor's this afternoon to ask for a referral. The problems with the eyes have settled now; the redness has gone and the surrounding skin is just a little dry now. But I'm still having the bowel problems and the tummy pain. I don't want to go to see the GP as the symptoms aren't quite as bad this week but John will go mad if I don't keep the appointment, so I had better. I''let you know what happens.

Have a good day!

Flipping Internet Connections!!

I haven't posted for a few days, firstly because I've been busy and secondly because we lost the internet connection with Virgin. We've also had problems with the On Demand on the TV freezing up so I had to keep resetting the set-top box. I just wanted to throw the box through the window in the end. I spent time on Friday afternoon trying to sort out the TV and John spent most of yesterday sorting out the Internet connection.

I managed to look at a couple of blogs on Friday before it all crashed, and that was when I wrote the 'tome' to Lesley. Just as I was finishing the phone rang and it was my nephew, Lee (the new Dad to Charlie). He said that he had just left Nanny's and that I should get over there straight away as she was doubled up in pain. Quick phone call to John to divert him off the tube on the way home to meet me at Mum's; jump into the car and struggle through the rush hour traffic worrying all the way (Mum suffers from angina - 3 or 4 miles but seemed longer); should I drop Liz off at Lisa's (just in case)? What do I find when I get there? Mum sitting in the living room watching Countdown (or whatever). I didn't say why I was there; just said I'd popped over with her Avon order. So we started chatting and then the reason for the 'doubled-up in pain' was explained. She'd had a gippy tummy all day and had been running to the loo a lot. I could have killed Lee! I was glad Mum was OK but I could have done without my stress levels going through the roof. I phoned Lee's mobile to tell him that Nanny was fine and that she only had an upset tummy - his response? "I know, I just didn't want her to be on her own". It's a good thing I couldn't get hold of him at that moment. Did he think I had nothing better to do? His own mother only lives 5 minutes away from Mum, as well!

A little bit of background on Lee which I haven't written about, hoping it would all resolve itself. Him and Lisa have split up. Lee has been on secondment to a local Forces Recruitment office as part of his paternity leave whilst awaiting the birth of Charlie. They fell out before the baby was born. I tried to tell him that she was 9 months pregnant and her hormones would be reeling etc. They got back together again when Charlie arrived but it only lasted a couple of weeks. I don't know the full story, and I don't really want to, but Lee moved back into my Mum's house (where he stays when he's home on leave - he's in the Royal Navy). Anyway, we went over to see the baby at Mum's yesterday for the last time for possibly some time as Lee has him for a couple of hours each weekend. He's gone back to Plymouth this afternoon so we're going to have to see what happens in the future. Lee will be home on leave before he goes to sea in July but I'm not sure when or how often. I shall miss Charlie if we don't get to see him- he's such a sweet little thing and is just beginning to make eye-contact and gurgle and smile.

Diet matters! - won't weigh myself, but I'm feeling a little bloated so I've probably gained again.

I decided yesterday that I probably had to invest in a couple of new bras as the two I bought just before Christmas are now doing absolutely nothing for my 'assets'. Tracy, the owner of the lingerie shop I go to was really impressed with the amount I've lost. She measured me and said I'd gone down 2 band sizes and 3 cup sizes!! I came away with 2 bras and I also bought Lizzie her first 'real' bra. That was a true rite of passage, and I ended up in tears (silly cow!).

Had a good morning in my Saturday Branch. I was in the banking hall, rather than on the till, so that made a change. Once again, the young lad in the office was admiring, he said, 'Looking good, Chris!' Oh, was I happy? You bet I was!

Today, we've been back to Lakeside to do my take-back. I don't like going to the shops on a Sunday. All the world and his wife is always there, but I'm not going to be able to get there for a week or two so it had to be done. Then we went over to Mum's to pick her up and bring her back to ours as Lee left this afternoon and at least she wouldn't have to be on her own.

So here I am catching up on the blogs. So I shall say Bye, Bye now and read everyone else's.

Camera's on the blink

Sorry, everyone. No age-defying outfit photo, I'm afraid. My camera appears to have given up the ghost. I've no-one to blame but myself. I made the mistake of taking it onto a very sandy beach last summer. It's worked occasionally over the last months. I usually put rechargeable batteries in it and had thought the batteries were coming to the end of their natural life so we bought some more. The camera still didn't seem to work for long and John said maybe the problem was the recharger. So to check I tried the camera with ordinary AA Duracells, still no luck. It looks as though I'll have to invest in a new camera. So until that time, my hippy chick look will have to stay in the imagination!

Shopping in Lakeside....

I love all you girls! If one of us is a little down there's always someone out there to help pull you up and make you feel better. So, 'Thank You', Mel and Lesley.

Lesley, the scales I use are electronic and made by Salter. I've just looked in the Argos catalogue but they don't have the actual model I have but item 14 on page 949 (832/6009) or even item 15 (832/1839) both priced £29.99 are very similar. I use my sey on a vinyl floor and as the design is tiled I can always make sure they are placed in the same spot. The scales always agreed with the LighterLife scales and were always 2lbs lighter than the Cambridge ones.

And thank you Lesley for saying I'm not old....and am part of the furniture (hmm?)

As you were writing your post to me, Mel, I was doing just as you suggested. I was out shopping. I decided to take a trip to Lakeside Shopping Centre as BHS had a 20% off day. I managed to pick up quite a few bits for Lizzie in Tammy in BHS and a couple of bits for John and because I thought I just had to get something for myself I bought a pair of trousers, a dressy top and a knitted cardigan jacket. I didn't try any of them on, so they're all going back (my friend Lisa calls me the 'take-back queen'). I didn't actually enjoy being in BHS today. Normally I manage to pick up a few separates but the shop seemed more like a jumble sale today. There were loads and loads of tee-shirts on display, all in very garrish colours and un-coordinated. It was like an exlosion in a paint factory. Must definitely have been the window-dressers week off!

I then went along to H&M, not a shop I normally look for anything for me in, but managed to buy 2 great tops (in medium). I put them on at home and said that I was going all 'hippy chick' and they reminded me of something from the 70s. Lizzie made me laugh - she said I always say that if you wore them the first time round then you should never wear them the second time. From the mouths of babes, eh? Anyway, I tried the tops on with a pair of (cough, cough) size 14 straight leg jeans I found the other day at the back of the wardrobe and in the 250 years or so that they've been hiding there they seem to have stretched to fit! Lizzie decided, though, that I needed some help and dashed off to find a belt and some beads and then stuck my hair up in a high ponytail. If it hadn't been for the eyes I could have been 18 again!...LOL!! One good thing I noticed when I had my hair up was that I could see visible collarbones and my neck looked longer and slimmer - so one of my goals met. Yay!

Whilst I was out I felt a little peckish so I then had the dieter's dilemma of not knowing where or what to eat. I didn't want any obvious 'fast food' or a sandwich as I haven't eaten bread since January, so decided in the end to go up to the food hall for a Burger King flame-grilled chicken salad. I really didn't want this but thought it would be the best of many evils. But when I got upstairs I saw a new food bar - a salad bar!! Wow, something I could actually choose to eat. So I had a Greek Salad - 'expensive' leaves, cherry toms, cucumber, sweetcorn, olives and feta cheese all covered in oil - olive, so loads of Omega 3's going in. Very scrummy ......and a bottle of water. All for the princely sum of £5.46. I know where I'll be eating next time I go back.

I'm going to post this quick now as it's the second time I've written it as the internet connection lost it as I went to post last time. I now need to look quickly at everyone else's. So night, night all.

Appointment made

Thanks for your comments, girls. Sorry, I don't mean to keep whining on but I just can't believe I have all these problems. I just wish there was a definitive answer. I've made an appointment to see my own GP for next Tuesday and I shall insist on a referral , but to which type of consultant, I don't know?

I got on the scales on Saturday morning so that I could let the girls at my Saturday Branch know the state of play as they always ask each week and I was pleased to note that even though I wasn't in ketosis any longer I'd still lost weight and had got down to 12st exactly. Yippee! I thought - that's 2st 11lb off! 39lb! Anyway, I jumped on the scales first thing Monday morning and there I was at 12st 11/2lb, the equivalent of more-or-less a 4400 calorie weight gain. Where did that come from? I haven't eaten 4400 calories! I checked this morning- still the same. This afternoon- 12st 23/4lb. And my uniform jacket feels snug. I feel so bloated. My tummy looks swollen and Lynne at work said that she actually thought I looked a little bigger today. What do I do? Shoot myself? I wish I could go back onto the packs again.....................And my chin itchs, and my eyes are a bit sore.

Give up on me, girls. I'm getting boring now.

You'd think by trying to loss weight to get into a healthy state and only putting 'good' things into my body should have me blooming, wouldn't you?

But O NO!

The problems continue

We went to Jan and Keith's yesterday evening. Janet commented on my weightloss and of course asked how I'd lost it and then said one of the girls at work had been on LighterLife since Decembe and lost loads. So she wasn't quite as anti the diet as I thought she would be. One thing she did say, however, was that I was looking old, especially around the eyes (thanks a lot, best friend!). A bit of a bummer this as even tjoughI've now reached the riupe old age of 51, NO-ONE would guess I was that age. I've always looked a lot younger than my age.

My chin and eyes hade been itchy again during Sunday. Wondering now if milk could be the problem? Mum gave me a cup of tea with milk on Saturday and then yesterday morning I had Special K with milk and a cup of tea -could that have been enough for a reaction? I was very good with my choice of food at Jan and Keith's and then kept the peace by having a very small slice of cheesecake and scoop of ice-cream. Half hour later I went to the loo and saw red eyes in the mirror!!! God! I'm fed up with all this. Before LighterLife I was eating dairy with no 'obvious' reactions (but could the bowel problems be a reaction - I don't know????)

Well, I'm trying to eat normally.....

I'm proud of myself for making the decision to keep out of ketosis for the time being and see how things go but, and it's a big BUT, food seems to be having an adverse effect on me. Over the years (and many of them) I have had trouble with my bowel and had tests done at the hospital, as I said on an earlier post. Nothing physically wrong was ever found so I just accepted that I had a problem and got on with life (as you do!). I hate to give too much info but one of the worst problems I've suffered with over the years was an 'explosive' diarrhoea, so much so that I often found it difficult to leave the house in the morning. One of the side benefits, but a very big one, of LighterLife and Cambridge was that the bowel problem cleared up - COMPLETELY. The very fact that I wasn't eating any food meant that my digestive system didn't have to cope with any 'foreign' invaders and, if it hadn't been for the problem with my eyes, then I would have found the ultimate diet and could have stayed on it FOR EVER!

Now I've started eating the digestive upsets are returning with a vengeance. I've tried to introduce foods gradually but feel I should be popping antacids rather than corn just to keep the pain away. Although I've experienced the occasional indigestion episodes, just like everyone else, now the pain is almost constant, and the exp dia is returning as well. John keeps on to me about going to the doctor about it - this isn't new; he's nagged me to go to the doctor for a couple of years or so now to be referred to a nutrionist, especially as we have private medical insurance. I only went to a relief doctor a week or so ago about my eyes and she poo-pooed (excuse the pun) the food intolerance suggestion so I'm a little loath to return. But I think I'm going to have to. I shall make an appointment to see my own GP and ask for a refferal. I really can't go on like this. You never know, the problems I seem to have with some foods may have been contributory to my weight gain (?)

Maybe, Claire, we have more in common than just a fascination for blogs and VLCDs!!!

Decisions, decisons....

One moment I've decided to get back into ketosis because I can't wait to get the remaining stone to stone and a half off; and the next, I'm thinking, now hang on a minute, I've got the chance here to really establish the basis for a lifelong way of eating to keep slim for the future. After all, even though I'm no longer in ketosis, my appetite is still fairly suppressed and I'm leaving food on the plate after nearly every meal - not something I often did before dieting. I was alsways one to clear my plate! I just can't seem to make my mind up and stick to it.

I think you're right Claire, it is harder to eat than to abstain from food. When on Lighterlife and Cambridge I didn't need to think, all the decision-making had been taken out of my hands. But thank you to both Claire and Lesley for your words of wisdom.

Ok, I'm making a decision right here and now. It will be recorded for prosperity (well?) and I shall stand by what I write (for the next week or so anyway). I am not going to attempt to get back into ketosis for the time being. I'm taking a break to see if I can manage without (thank you, Lesley). After all, ketosis isn't a normal state to be in - and as I'm not feeling particularly hungry - just the occasional 'peckish' moments as you often get on LL - if I hadn't had the ketostix I wouldn't have known I wasn't there anyway. I shall eat low GI on a 90/10 basis. I'm saying 90/10 as on Sunday we're going over to friends for the evening and there's NO WAY Janet is going to let me get away with not being fed. She always bases her tea on salad but with absolutely everything else with it. So I can manage with that fairly well, with picking and choosing and she won't notice. The problem comes however with the dessert. Janet's a M&S junkie and will normally have 2 or 3 desserts on the table and woe-betide anyone who refuses one! I know from experience. So the 10% is a little taster to keep her happy if I can't get away with it. I know, I'm a wimp. But she frightens me!

If I don't lose over the next week or so, or, heavens above(!), gain, then it's back onto the ketone blasting regime again and I'll follow the diet in the book I told Claire about the other day. I hope I can manage without - much more like real life.

I'll say bye for now. I need to get ready to go out. It's Pat's funeral at 10.00am. I'm only going to the Mass, not the cemetery. I just want to show my support for Ted - he's in his mid-80s and looked absolutley devastated when I spoke to him at Church last Sunday. Pat and Ted had run the Gift Aid Scheme at the Church for 30 years. I've worked with them for about the last 5 and took over completely at the beginning of last year. Pat was 81and hadn't been very well for some time and I don't think I'll ever forget the look of thanks and relief on her face when I told them that I would take on the complete kit and caboodle from them. It's sad...........

I'm not in ketosis anymore

I did a 'wee' test and the stix showed negative this morning. I haven't gained any weight since Monday so that's all to the good but I need to be very careful. I'm trying to decide whether to get back into ketosis or just continue on a purely low GI diet. I like the idea of 'fat-burning' as per ketosis, but it is rather restrictive. I know where things went wrong - on the weekend I drank about 1/2 bottle wine and included a couple of new potatoes with the meal. I tried a tablespoon of wholewheat pasta on Monday and have also had a couple of squares of chocolate (and I mean 2!). I've also included quite a lot of fruit since last Friday. So all in all, regardless of the fact that on a 'normal' weightloss programme, other than the wine, this wouldn't have been too bad, on my regime it's had the effect of knocking me out of ketosis. Luckily, as I said, I haven't gained any weight from the glycogen going back on.

So, decisions decisions. Where's Mel when I need her? At Butlins, that's where!

On a more positive note. One of the girls at work, who is very nice but can sometimes be a little dour, commented on how slim I was looking. I shall remember that while I make up my mind about what to do.

Have a good day everyone.