Oh no, not again!

You won't believe it; I woke up this morning with red eyes and dry patches on my cheek and under my chin. Why me? I only want to lose weight. Even my body is trying to find ways to stop me.

I wasn't totally surprised, as yesterday evening the crease at the outer corners of my eyes was a little sore, and an area under my chin was itchy. It's my fault really, I suppose. I know I should be taking the lactose enzyme capsules - and I have, but because I wasn't having any reactions I cut the dose back to 1 before each meal pack. I've learnt my lesson now. I've upped them to 2 and I'll see how I go over the mext few days before I think of increasing the dose to even more. Serves me right for trying to save a little money, dosen't it (the capsules are £8.49 a bottle and contain 60). When I go for my weigh-in on Monday I think I'll buy a lot more lactose free packs, it's just I won't have so much choice - just vanilla, chocolate and mushroom.

On a nicer note. I made up the layette today and went of to my nephew's. They were both really impressed with the pressie, so much so that Lisa doesn't want to open it. She said I should set up a stall in the maternity hospital and sell them. She said I'd make a mint! I must say it did look really good. I managed to get hold of a smaller-sized wicker laundry basket in the 99p store of all places and then I bought some light blue tissue paper which I shredded and filled in the gaps around the products with. I'd also bought some clear cellophane from a florists and the florist made me up a blue bow. When made up, the basket looked really professional and would probably have cost a bomb from a specialist shop. I enjoy arts and crafts but haven't made time to do anything for ages and this pandered to my fancy and I really loved doing it - with the help of Elizabeth of course (she broke up from school yeasterday).

All or nothing....

Just a quick one this evening - I want my bed! I'm tired this evening.

I'm a governor at 2 schools and I was out late last night at a full governing body meeting which started a lot later than it should have and went on a lot longer than it should have. And then this evening I've been to the other school to their Easter concert. I was there yesterday afternoon as well doing a staff vacancy interview. Why is it that everything comes at once - it's all or nothing sometimes - like when you're waiting ages for a bus and then 3 come along together.

Note to Mel: I went to Morrisons today on the way to work and stocked up with all the smellies and bits and peices for Charlie's layette. I found a big box which I'll decorate with baby paper. Hopefully it'll make a nice present and I'll just have to go over tomorrow to see the baby again....won't I? Thanks for your tips xx

Night, night all

I haven't written for a few days. I really don't know where the time goes - and also I couldn't get onto the computer!!

Monday: very busy day at work and I felt a bit down again. What is it with this diet thing? Saturday was bad, Sunday was a good day, and here we go with a bad day on Monday again. I think it may be that when I'm working I'm not able to drink so much and that tends to make me tired and restless. And then I also tend to get a nasty metallic taste in the mouth (which I suppose also means the diet's working and I'm well into ketosis). Cheered up in the evening though when I went to my Cambridge Diet counsellor - I'd lost another 4lbs! That's 26lbs altogether, and not bad in 6 weeks with a 12 day gap inbetween (which also meant I had to get back into ketosis again when I restarted). My weight was actually 2lbs heavier on the CDC scales, but I have decided to go with my scales as they were in line with the LighterLife scales and I feel 'cheated' of 2lbs - silly, I know, but it helps the motivation and, to me, is a truer indication of the weightloss.

Tuesday: Oh, a much better day! We get so busy at work and get caught up in what we're doing individually that often we don't get time to catch up with each other. But today everyone seemed to notice the change in me - I've not been in this office since last Tuesday and a week is a long time on a VLCD! The compliments were flying - and I was lapping them up. Isn't it great when people notice the difference in you and are positive about what you're doing? It makes all the down days disappear into the ether.

I though I would put my ticker up to show my weightloss. I update it regularly on minimins but, 'cos these blogs take so much time reading, responding and writing, I hardly get time to post on minimins any longer. So I thought I'd use it here:



Yesterday evening we went to meet Charlie, my nephew's new baby (oh, that sounds much better than saying me great-nephew). He's gorgeous and was really cuddly, hmmmm..... I just need to find something to buy them. They said they didn't need any big things and just wanted lots of smellies etc....?????? Any ideas?

I'm writing mine first tonight

As the title says, I'm writing my post tonight first before reading anyone else's. I probably won't read anyone else's tonight as I want to sit down and watch Northanger Abbey and it's on in 15 mins. Don't you find, though, that you want to find out how everyone's getting and then run out of time, or energy, to catch everyone else up with what you've been up to yourself? Or is that just me?

Well, I've had a momentous weekend. I became a great-aunt (eeh, ugh!!) yesterday evening (Sat 24th) to a little boy called Charlie - born @ 21.11, weighing 8lb - !'ve lost over 3 times his weight (hee, hee). We haven't seen him yet as we were out at John and my god-daughter's 5th birthday party today, but can't wait 'til Tuesday to go for a cuddle.

On the diet front: yesterday was a b awful day! I would have eaten absolutely anything that was put in front of me yesterday, edible or inedible. I was sooooo hungry. It was a hectic morning at work so I didn't actually have my first pack until 12.30 and had had trouble drinking 'cos I didn't want to keep popping off the counter to go to the loo. It just goes to prove - make sure you drink, drink and drink some more!

Today was a different day entirely. Normal, off to Mass and then to Tesco's. I wouldn't let John have breakfast this morning because Lizzie had stayed with Mum last night when we went to the theatre and I needed to pick her up to get to Louise's party. Wasn't I mean? But it did mean that we shot round Tesco in double-quick time, bought what was on my list and got out before it got busy. There weren't many people there actually - they probably hadn't put their clocks backl. Along with those who turned up to 9.00am Mass at 10.00am - there's some every year (snigger, snigger).

We got to the hall for Louise's party just as it was finishing up (wasn't that clever?) and in time to go back to the house for the family 'do' (she's my cousin Catherine's daughter). Catherine had laid on a buffet lunch for the family. Another gold star for me - I wasn't tempted; well I was, put I held out!! Everyone was really impressed with the diet and the weight I'd lost. Lovely! Felt good......

I can't stop reading all your blogs!!

I didn't post yesterday because when I managed to sit down with the laptop I thought would check out everyone else's first. By the time I'd finshed reading and responding (and of course we must make sure we all keep in touch) I was ready for bed and all typed out. So just a quick catch up about yesterday.....

I went to a meeting yesterday. There was no point in taking the car as the meeting was at a hotel in the middle of a local town with no car parking so I decided to take the bus, well it was 2 buses each way, but I thought I would go for another gold star and walk the first and last routes. When I got off the other end it was also about a 10 min walk. So I clocked up 8800 steps yesterday in all. Yippee! Not the 10,000 I know, but more than the 4700 the day before and much more than the 2700 when I take the car to work and sit in an office all day.

Well, I'm not at work today. It's 8.00am and I'm just off out to meet my mates and walk with them on the school run (they still have children at primary) and then we'll go off to the cafe. I'm taking a breakfast shake with me and I shall have a black coffee to go with it. Won't that be virtuous while they're tucking into a fulll English. Hee, Hee, Hee.

Speak later, everyone. have a good day.

Oh, and I weighed myself this morning (on my scales admittedly, but they were only about half lb out to the Lighterlife scales, but 2lb to Cambridge) and I have moved into the next stone. Hoorah! That's, on my reckoning, 26lbs off. With a 12 day break in the middle! (jumping up and down and doing a jig)

What a week this is turning out to be....

I went back to work on Monday after 2 and half weeks off (well I went back Saturday to my contracted office but Monday to the overtime office - confused? I'm only contracted to work Saturdays and work in various offices as a supply when and if I'm needed). Now you're totally confused, aren't you?

It's all happening. A chap who's only been with this particular office for about 4 weeks, altho' he's been with the Society for about 2 years, came in yesterday morning, typed a half line letter of resignation and left. We couldn't believe it. He'd decided he'd had enough because Nationwide wouldn't give him a £5000 salary increase (if only!) so he'd gone out, got another job, and was leaving. We were all gobsmacked. It sort of left us up the proverbial creek as we were already short-staffed (hence me being there) and even the manager was out at a meeting. We had to telephone her to break the news and she wasn't mightily pleased, as you can imagine.

Today rather than working at that office I've been at Barking (where I work Saturdays) as I had loads of tests to do. I passed! We-ll, I failed 2 but it looks like I didn't need to do them as they weren't within my remit; no wonder I didn't know all the answers!!

As the Branch is in my town I didn't need to use the car. So rather than catch the bus I plugged my ipod in and walked - well trotted a little as the wind was behind me! I'd put my LighterLife pedometer on and set it as I left the house. Considering my job is very sedentary I still managed to do 4,700 odd steps there and back. Not the 10,000 we should all be doing, but when I did the same test for the other branch a few weeks ago my step count was less than 2800 for the whole day!! That's the problem with needing to use a car for work.

If I'm going to be able to up these steps I'll really have to find ways of upping my chances of getting out walking. Not so easy when there's a family to take into account. And 3 nights a week I take Elizabeth out to karate or youth club. That's more trips in the car there and back - and my evenings monopolised.

One thing about the walk though was that it was a lot easier than it was back in January before I started this journey. I felt a lot lighter and fitter and I didn't get the pain in my chest that I have got on occasions when walking at a pace.

Just walking to work! Lesley makes me feel embarrassed. I wish I had her commitment to getting out for a run every day. And I wish I could swim. I've tried to learn a few times, all to no avail.

Another first when I got home.....I decided that I would cook this evening. I've been leaving it to John really since I started LighterLife but I just fancied cooking this evening. So, spag bol, cooked from scratch. I had to stop myself licking my fingers a couple of times, but that was from force of habit from a cook's point of view. Yes, I did quite fancy sitting down to a plateful but it was no real hardship that I couldn't. So, a gold star for me, I think.

John's Adsensed me!

John decided to do a little experiment. He wanted to see what would happen if he put Google Adsense on my blog (why doesn't he start his own and try it there?). But he hasn't started his own so you'll notice there are a few of those little ads running down the side of mine now. We shall see what happens.......

I thought I would do my own experiment and see if I could actually manage to download some photos at last. I say at last, but I haven't really tried properly as I usually sit on the settee with the laptop to write my blog and all the photos are on the main PC. So here I am, on the 'big' computer. Let's see how things go.

If they come up, I hope you're not all too squeamish. I do not like my photo taken as it is NEVER flattering but as I know what some of you look like I thought I had better be brave. If they don't come up then you really won't know what I'm talking about. BUt here goes.......

Half an hour later....... forget all you've just read. I can't do it! How on earth do you manage to get all those lovely pictures on, Lesley? It all seemed gobbledegook to me. I shall ask the maestro when he gets in and we'll try again. But for the time being, I remain the 'mysterious woman'.

Food shopping nightmare!

We have a routine on a Sunday; 9.00am Mass and then drive to Tesco's for breakfast and to do the weekly shop. Of course, I haven't been in to normal routine for the last couple of weeks and John has been doing the shopping in dribs and drabs on his way home from work. But, back to Tesco's this morning. I said I'd do the shopping whilst they had their breakfast, which didn't go down too well with John - he wanted me to sit with him and Lizzie for a chat. Huh! with the smell of bacon wafting around my nostrils - he must've been joking!

So off I went with the trolley. It's so weird shopping when you know you're not going to be eating any of it. Normally I don't buy much in the way of convenience foods but, honestly, I can't stand the thought of cooking every evening. I did a little before I was ill, but admittedly John has cooked mainly for him and Liz. He's not one for cooking from scratch, unless it's a bolognese or, his piece d'resistance, apple cake, so I swallowed my pride (well I'm not swallowing much else am I?) and bought a week's worth of ready meals.

I really don't like walking around the supermarket whilst on this diet. I wonder how others manage? Does everyone find it hard? I remember when I first started on Lighterlife it felt like torture, but it feels so much harder this time round. Everything does. I'm sure I'd have given up without this blog and the uplifting and inspirational comments from all my 'virtual friends' - you know who you are!

Day 1 on The Cambridge

Well, I'm there. I finished my last LighterLife packs yesterday and it's straight onto the Cambridge today - so here we go again!

As you may remember, I restarted my remaining LL packs on Monday, but swallowed a couple of lactase enzyme capsules prior to each meal. It was great. I've had no reactions, ie. no bruised eyes or eczema patches - and (if you don't mind me being a little lavatorial) regular movements, which I didn't have before using the capsules. So, if any of you are suffering constipation......

I have a few lactose free Cambridge packs, but most of them are normal ones, so I'll carry on taking the capsules and hopefully I won't suffer any adverse effects on this Plan. Fingers-crossed, please.

It's a pity I couldn't continue on LL. I do miss the counselling side, and seeing the other girls in group each week. Never mind this will have to be my self-counselling platform. Listen, Lesley, you will have to continue with your ramblings about the TA/CBT topic each week in LL and I'll follow along in my Foundation book - OK?

I've not been to work since 28th Feb and returned this morning. Was a little put out that no-one mentioned I looked slimmer. I know we were busy, but they could have put themselves out, couldn't they? Afterwards I went toStead & Simpson and tried on a pair of shoes for work (the ones I have at the moment are courts and they're feeling a little loose and I'm afraid of walking out of them). When I looked in the mirror though I realised that I didn't look slim at all. My legs are still chunky around the calves. I hate shopping for clothes!!!!!!! And no wonder no mentioned how svelte I looked!

Hope everyone has a good weekend.............

Still easing off LL

I went to meet my new Cambridge Diet Counsellor yesterday evening. It's a lot different to Lighterlife, much less formal I suppose. We met in her front room - I'm not too sure about that as I felt I was in the way of her husband. It's the way she's done things since she qualified as a CDC a year ago but I must say I wasn't quite comfortable. I don't want to be seen by the neighbours as one of the fat girls who walk up her path each week. I'm being stupid, I know. You don't have to tell me.

Considering I wasn't too keen on being in someone's home, we did get on fine and I was there for over an hour - chatty, or not?

I collected 21 sachets of food- on Cambridge, it's only 3 packs per day, not 4 as on LL. Price £32.55 instead of £66.00 as well!! I didn't manage to get all lactose free ones as she didn't have them instock but I shall try the other flavours and see how I get on taking a lactase enzyme capsule before each meal. I have been finishing my remaining LL packs and taking a capsule each time and haven't had any adverse effects, so hopefully I'll do OK on Cambridge.

When I spoke to Heather the other day she said that Lighterlife were going to be bringing out lactose intolerant packs in the summer and they may ask me to be a guinea pig for them, which would mean I wouldn't have to pay. As inticing as the thought of not paying for the packs is I don't want to wait until the summer. You never know, I may be very near target weight by then!

So, 2 more days of Lighterlife and then it's on to Cambridge.

Cheer me up someone, please. I'm getting bored of this now. Jacki, the CDC, weighed me last night and I'd only lost another 3lbs since I was last weighed at LL on 27th Feb. I reweighed myself when I got home and I showed another 2lbs off (my scales are only about 1/2lb out to Heather's LL ones so on LL I would have lost 5lbs) but it doesn't make me feel ecstatic. And I'm still trying to get back into ketosis - that b****y egg salad did it for me on Tuesday evening!!

Last Days on LighterLife

Heather telephoned me this morning. She has had a long chat with LL medical department and they have told her that I am no longer allowed to continue on the Programme, even taking the lactose enzyme capsules. Blast! Blast! Blast! (I could think of worse things to say, but I'm a good girl!)

Apparently, Lighterlife will be introducing lactose free packs in the summer months - but that's not going to help me now, is it?

What now? Well my first thought was to finish the packs I still have left and my second was to decide what to do next? Obvious choice - try the Cambridge Diet. They actually have packs that are lactose free - but only 3 packs unfortunately - chocolate and vanilla shakes and only mushroom soup. But I don't suppose we're in this for the fantastic flavours, are we? It's all a means to an end.

So, I contacted a local Cambridge Diet Counsellor, and I have an appointment to meet her tomorrow evening. She won't be able to give me all lactose free packs tomorrow as she'll have to order them in for me so I shall contniue with the capsules until I get sorted.

I hope I'll be in ketosis by tomorrow, but I sabotaged myself this evening by eating a couple of hard-boiled eggs with a mixed salad. I was so hungry and I didn't think I would get to see a CDC until next Monday and I was trying to stretch the remaining LL packs out. Not a wise thing to do, I know, but I was desperate. It was only an hour or so later that the CDC phoned me so I needn't have eaten (I could have had a pack after all).

Oh well, a new path to follow on my journey. But I will get there - one way or another.....

And thanks for yesterday's comments, folks. It's so good to know someones out here taking an interest. Wendy, I forgot about healthydirect. My husband buys his glucosamine and chondroitin through them, I shall check them out. Keep up the good work, Tom

Day 34 - well, less the 8 days or so I was off the diet!!

I started the LighterLife programme again this morning. I'm still not feeling too well, but at least I'm up and about now. Still feeling rather shaky so probably not the best time to restart a diet, but it's now, or maybe never.

I emailed Heather this morning to let her know I was restarting and to ask if it was Ok to rejoin the class tomorrow evening. I haven't had my 28 day blood pressure check of course, but I hope she will say 'yes'.

I decided to start with a 2 capsule dose of the lactase enzyme and hope that will be sufficient to keep the intolerance at bay. If I need to I will up it to 3 capsules. If I have to take more this diet is going to work out even more expensive than it already is (other than I don't have to buy any more food, I know). I bought the capsules from Holland and Barrett and they come in bottles of 60 at £8.49 per bottle. If I have to take 3 with each meal then a bottle will only last 5 days......aaagh! If anyone knows of a cheaper source, then please let me know.

I tell you, I'm weeing a lot again! Having previously done the diet for nearly 4 weeks the wee situation had settled down and my loo trips were almost back to normal, but starting from scratch, I'm back at going again every 20 mins or so. And of course, I need to get back into ketosis again - roll on the end of this week.

If you're of that bent, please say a little prayer, or two, for me to be able to continue with the diet this time......

I've been away too long!!!!

Well, its, Sat 10th March (Happy Birthday, Carmel) and this is my first post since 28th Feb. I know I've been missed (thanks, Tom).

I've had a pretty nasty bout of flu. I did say, if you remember, that I didn't feel too well on my last post. That was an under-statement to say the least. I woke up the following morning and I could hardly see the eyelashes of my right eye. The eye was so purple-red and swollen and I have to admit that vanity prevented me from going to work that morning - there was no way my normal beauty routine(?) was going to cover that up!! By the afternoon I really began to feel unwell though. And I eventually took to my bed, not to venture downstairs again for about 4 days (and then for only a couple of hours at a time). I have felt really ill and still don't feel up to much even now. I'm coughing and choking for England even as I type.

During my illness I spoke to Heather, my LighterLife counsellor, and we came to the conclusion that I may well have had a reaction to the foodpacks and was suffering from a lactose intolerance and it would probably be better if I gave up on the diet. I was devastated and really upset but agreed that I had made a very good start and had had a considerable weightloss and would carry my journey on from here, but not with LL.

I am not one to give up to easily though, so I got on the internet a couple of days ago (even though I didn't feel well enough) and did some research on lactose intolerance. I think the homemade diagnosis is correct. I remember a previous GP doing a kinesiology test on me about 12 years ago and diagnosing a lactose intolerance, so that was a start. I have had problems with my bowels for about 20 years and even though I have had tests at hospital (including the worst thing I have ever been through in my life - a colonoscopy.....awake!) no conclusions were made. It has crossed my mind about whether I was lactose intolerant and now the problems with the foodpacks seem to make sense. One of the symptoms is "black eye" and another, a drippy nose. Well, I didn't actually tell you about that one, but everyday at work (when my head is down writing) my nose kept running - and this was some time before the flu came on. I didn't really think about, but when I read it as one of the symptoms, things fell into place. There were other symptoms that I have just got used to over the years to do with the intestinal tract that appear to have got better with the packs, but then again, not all symptoms of a condition are always present in every person, are they?

Lactose intolerance, albeit an upsetting condition, is not life threatening and can be easily controlled. Basically, it means that there is not enough of the lactase enzyme in my small intestine to digest the lactose sugar in my food. I did use lactase drops in my milk for a while 12 years ago, but with a young baby to care for and a diagnosed post-natal depression to get through, I just gave up on it and drank and ate milk products as normal. And would have carried on as so if it hadn't been for recent circumstances. I have decided, therefore, to contact Heather again to see if I can restart, for a trial period at any rate, but this time I will take a lactase enzyme capsule dose before consuming any of the foodpacks. I can only try it and see!

I shall keep you informed of what happens, but if I can't continue with LighterLife, I intend keeping this blog up as my weight is going to come off, one way or another.......