Satchets worked!!!

Thanks everyone for your wise and kind words of empathy over my visit to the hospital. I wish I didn't feel so overwhelmed over matters like this but I've been to so many different hospitals over the years and they always get to me, I'm afraid.
Anyway, I took my satchets of absolutely vile medecine yesterday morning and I've worn the carpet pile down on the stairs rushing up them every few minutes. And I've lost 3/4lb overnight, so something good, eh. The satchets still appear to be working this morning as well, which means I'm not going anywhere today. Lizzie and I can find a good film to watch this afternoon maybe?

I've not done very well with dieting over the last couple of weeks. It's very hard trying to diet 'normally' after having followed weeks of LighterLife and Cambridge. At least on those diets you KNOW the weight is going to come off if you follow the rules. With what I'm trying to do now it's so easy to fail. I've yo-yoed up and down with a 3lb margin since coming out of ketosis. After I stopped LL and CD I still managed to get down to 12stone but once I came out of ketosis I put on 3lbs more or less straight away. Then I lost a lb, then I put on 1/2, then I lost again. I haven't actually logged the changes on my ticker as the thought of 'seeing' the weight go up again on a chart would do nothing for my motivation. Yesterday morning (Monday) I weighed in at 12st 2lb, but then 12st 11/4lb this morning after the satchets from yesterday.

I had a really grotty day at work on Saturday. I'd asked for Saturday 2nd June off a couple of weeks ago as it's half-term and we'd thought of popping up to Norfolk for a few days. We have family up there and John and I own a property in Great Yarmouth that we thought we would check out. But would you believe it, the 'powers that be' hadn't decided whether I could have the time off!!! That along with a couple of miserable customers really riled me. We made up for it in the evening though. Lizzie stayed at Mum's for the night and we went off to the theatre to see 'A Slice of Saturday Night', a musical based in the Club-A-Go-Go in 1963 - very funny and very good entertainment.

Sunday and Monday were real washouts here, as I'm sure they were wherever everyone else was. Lizzie went to the cemetry with Mum and my sister, Janice, as it was my Dad's birthday and they wanted to put some flowers on his grave (well, on his rose bush). John and I decided to take advantage of the time on our own and went out for Sunday Lunch - nothing grand, just to the cafe around the corner, but nice all the same.

This morning I've been ringing hotels and B&Bs in Norfolk trying to book a couple of rooms for 2 nights. As work couldn't decide whether to give me the time and said they would let me know Tuesday (!?!) I told them they needn't bother and I'd make other arrangements (you'd think you lived to work, not the other way round sometimes). Anyway, I've booked 2 rooms for 2 nights from tomorrow, in a 15th Century Grade II listed timbered cottage in the heart of the Norfolk countryside. Looks very nice online. We'll drive up there once John gets in from work tomorrow (I've asked him to leave work early, but...?) and should get there in time to pop along to the local for a nice dinner. On Thursday we'll drive to Great Yarmouth to see our letting agent and have a look at the house whilst Mum takes Lizzie to the Model Village (haven't seen it for years, wonder whether it's still as good as it was then?).On Friday we'll spend the day with Mum's cousin who lives quite near to where we're staying. Then drive home and back to work on Saturday. All go, eh!

I shall try to be good on the food front whilst away. But then again, I don't really think it'll be ice-cream weather!

I've seen the Consultant....

I'm just back from my visit to the Consultant this morning. I've got tears in my eyes as I type this, not for any awful reason, just from the fact that I feel down. I was Ok before I went, other than having been up for 3 hours overnight with horrible, horrible indigestion type pains. The pain woke me at about 1.30 and in the end I decided to come downstairs. An antacid and 2 pints of water later, I went back to bed at 3.45 and then laid awake for ages before dropping off. Felt like death when I had to get up for Lizzie at 7.00.

I got into to see the Consultant and really had trouble explaining my problems, maninly because the condition is chronic (the exp dia)and goes back so many years that I can't say when it started or whether there's any catalyst. The acute symptoms (the pains)that have come since stopping LighterLife and Cambridge are a lot easier to explain, but of course once I mentioned the diets, he jumped on that straight away and definitely showed his anti feelings. I'm afraid I'm rather an emotional person and when something affects me as much as this the tears well up and I find it very hard to suppress them. That's when I begin to feel really stupid and annoyed with myself. I wish I could be detached - at least whilst I'm trying to explain what's been happening to me.

Anyway, I was sent off for an x-ray of my stomach and, would you believe it, I was found to be very constipated - definitely not a diagnosis I would have given! That, apparently, would partly explain the amount of pain I've been in. So, I've come home with a couple of sachets that I have to take with water (sounds familiar!) but, in this case, I need to stay VERY close to a loo. (Acually, he was a lot more sympathetic when he saw the x-ray)

I also had loads of bloodtests and have to go back to see him for the results on the 4th June. To be continued.....

Thought I'd cheer myself up with a bit of retail therapy after I left the hospital but all to no avail. I really don't like shopping for clothes. I only tried on a pair of cropped trousers in Next but even the 16 wouldn't go round my bloated tummy. So, into Starbucks for a skinny cappuchino, and home.

John's just got in and he wants to pop to Lakeside to buy some trousers, so off to the dreaded shops again. Catch up with you all later.

LATER: back from Lakeside. John's got his trousers and I bought a crocheted white cardigan from Wallis (it's lovely), so not a totally wasted shopping trip. Lizzie was hankering after a baby hamster from the pet shop but we didn't cave in. We honestly didn't believe that she'd clean him out!!! Oh, and 3 pairs of lacy knickers. My existing ones look a little too like the ones on 'How To Look Good Naked' (the before shots!).

John and I managed to have a good talk while we were having a cup of tea and Lizzie was deciding what to buy in the petshop. He understands why I feel so upset about today at the hospital - basically, because I've put up with everything for so long. He's going to make sure he comes with me on the 4th as I can never take in what's being said to me when I'm a little 'traumatised'.

Have a good weekend everyone.

It worked!

Great. I'm back in the Land of Blog.

Not much has happened over the last few days, so not much to say really. I'm not at work today and I'm really ashamed to admit that I've done nothing other than hang a couple of loads of washing on the line (in my newly pruned garden) and watch TV. There's loads I could be doing, and loads I should be doing, but I just don't have the energy or the motivation at the moment. It's always the same when I'm not at work - I get lonely and down. I never used to be like this. I used to do things, I used to have hobbies. It's almost as though I'm trying to capture the little time I have to myself and 'recuperate' but all I do is feel guilty about being at home. I'm not making sense, am I?

I went to the GP this morning to pick up the letter for the hospital on Friday. I had to have a peek (as you do) and it came as a shock to see her comments on my medical history, namely depression (actually no longer a problem -although you wouldn't think so from this post), hysterctomy (but she got the date wrong by 6 years) and obesity. To see the word obesity written down to describe me came as a blow. No wonder I feel down.

Don't know what happened to the last post..

Thanks everyone for your comments on my last post - I found them all on the days before or , from mrs, on Cath's (I think!). I don't know what happened to the 'comments' link. Hopefully everything will be ok this time. So I'm just about to post this to see if it works. Here goes......

Dieting together helps you lose weight......

I've just read an article about dieting in Prima magazine. It says that for a diet or exercise plan to be successful you should get a buddy to go along with you. Apparently, researchers at Tufts University in the US have found that regular support helped people stick with a weight-loss plan. See! I knew there was a pretty good reason for this blogging lark!!!!

I hope everyone is doing well. I've had quite a few positive comments this weekend about the change in my body shape. But I've also had another friend say that I look older. She suggested that I keep the weight off my body but put it back on in my face (I'd oblige if I could).

As to the teaser I posted on Lesley's blog: John and I went to one of his colleague's houses on Friday and we've bought a Pilates Performer from her. She didn't have a very large house and the family complained every time she left it up in the living room. I've looked at the machines on QVC over the months and John is due to start Pilates classes along with physio for his back so we decided to take a look. To buy from QVC the machine would have cost about £200, but we managed to get Sarah to take £40 off us and she was happy, so a win-win situation all round. We've yet to put the bed together so I can't say I've had a go yet but we'll get it sorted in the next few days hopefully.

I've also been doing the step machine. I haven't pulled it into the middle of the room though this time as I tend to loose balance, so I keep it in fromt of the french doors and keeping one finger on the door frame to keep me steady I can happily step away while looking over the garden. John doesn't beleive I've been using it as it hasn't been moved and he says it's a bit dusty (well that's just my lack of housekeeping showing up).

Talking of gardens (as I just was); we don't have an enormous garden (85ft x 24ft) but it's full of mature shrubs that have now become a little too overgrown. I'm ashamed to admit that we don't look after the garden as well as we used to - life has changed, daughter has grown up, we've got older, John's back, etc, etc. We used to have a gardener a few years back and decided maybe it was time to get another to prune shrubs correctly, rather than just hack and hope for the best (I have a weigela that John cut back just before it bloomed one year. It's taken about another 4 for it to come back to anywhere near how good it used to look). Anyway, I came home the other week and parked outside my house was a large gardener's van so I stuck a note under his windscreen for him to knock. He did, I booked him, and he came last Friday; and 31/2 hours and £100 later I have a garden with a 'new haircut'. I made the girls at work laugh about it as, when they kept forgetting and then asking me what I was doing with my day off, I reminded them that I was having Desperate Housewives day. (you remember - Gabrille Solis and her gardener,for fans of DH). I hasten to put the record straight - the DH day was all in my head. But the gardener was a bit of a hunk!

I've just been reading everyone's blogs and commented on something Lesley said about exercise and what the individual LighterLife counsellors feelings are on exercise and LighterLifing. We didn't get as far as discussing exercise as I only got to week 3 before I had to stop. I know Heather (my LLC) had been reading this, and if you still are and are willing to comment, then please email me with your views. Exercise seems to be a contentious point with some people. And if you are still reading Heather, sorry I haven't sent you that Lifeline we spoke about last time I saw you. I'm not going to make excuses (you'd just see straight through them!) and I really want to make time to do it. I read a lot on the blogs about the work you are all doing in class and really wish I had been able to continue taking part but another part of me finds it all quite scary. I don't find it easy to analyse myself and come to any worthwhile conclusions (hence probably the reason I haven't sent Heather the Lifeline). I do envy the self-knowledge that mrs, Lesley and Sam have got from the classes.

Hope you're all having a good Sunday and that the weather's fine wherever you all are. It's sunny here but a little windy, so chilly in the shade. Have a good week everyone.

Chris x (((hugs))) to all.

Made the BUPA appointment

All set for Friday, 25th May @ 10.45am. Need to pick up a referral letter from the GP

Just a few thoughts about eating....

I was responding to one of mrs' posts this morning and felt that I'd copy it here. I had mixed emotions about having to come off LighterLife and Cambridge and was really worried about how I would manage back on food. There must be others out there feeling the same, hence this post:

"Having been both on a VLCD and now trying to 'eat to lose weight' I can expand on your thoughts slightly. I was really nervous about starting to eat again, especially as I couldn't do a Management route where food was introduced gradually. Even though, before dieting, I didn't have a 'see food and had to eat it mentality', I still had a huge problem with my weight and I was petrified that once I started eating I wouldn't be able to stop, and the getting on for 3 stone that I've lost would all come straight back on again. This was especially a worry as one of the benefits of ketosis is a mild suppresion of hunger. I thought that once hunger was an option, that would be it.

This was one of the reasons I wanted to stay in ketosis for as long as I could, along with the fat-burning benefit. I'm more than happy to report though that I'm out of ketosis, I'm eating healthily (even allowing an occasional glass of wine) and the weight is going down - slowly, but now going the right way, after an slight increase (probably the glycogen being replaced).
And I have been too busy to eat - and I have stopped when I feel I've had enough. And I've found that my stomach has found the 'off-switch'.

So, I feel more in control than I have for a really long time."